I guess it has really been too long since i last update my blog…
Since suiyen told me it’s time to update,
so here’s a brief update on my life…

Never ending projects are sickening…
Sucky NUS connection that breaks all the website I go…
Still contemplating over getting an iPhone or iPod Touch…
Yawning like a drug addict having withdrawal symptom…
Able to fall asleep anytime now…
One end of term test next week…
Less than 4 weeks to finals… (which is totally scary…)
Gaining my double chin back which isnt a good thing…
Installed Leopard on my Macbook…
it’s really cool, way more cooler than tiger…
But still buggy here n there…
Will fill up more if i missed any…

讨厌贪得无厌的自己，真的很讨厌…
对这样的自己，很反感…

One week mid semester break fly by in a blink… I was too slow to react and by the time I realize, it is all gone. It has been a chaotic week and I end up doing nothing productive… I’m very demoralized with my studies and am contemplating about myself, doubting my capability again… I just don’t get the Intro to Computer Security. I need help but I don’t know who can I go to. Downright demoralizing. I have 2 webdesign that I need to settle and all I want to do is sleep and not wake up. I have a test on Thursday and I foresee that my Tuesday will be dreaded again. There are tonz of stuff that I need to read up. I have no mood in really handling my projects. I just wish to escape from everything and disappear.

At times I just wish I know what I am doing. I just need to be able to grasp at something. Need to feel real and solid again… All I could feel now is empty and invisible. Tryin hard to keep myself awake and not succumb to Sleep… Though it’s hard with all the yawning and the evil whisper trying to convince you that it is ok to sleep for a while… There are just too many things that are going through my mind… But time is the luxury that I do not have to have them all sorted out and untangled. If it is possible, I just want to go somewhere out of my life, perhaps a beach or what, just live my life carefree with the gentle breeze blowing.

The weather lately is killing me. My sweaty palms and feet are all back haunting me day and night.

Is happiness such a difficult state to attain? I just want to be happy. I just want to be able to know what I want to do and take every step towards it. I am not even asking to reach the happiness state straight away without having to work hard for it, but at least, I need to know where I am heading to and that I am able to reach there. I need to know what steps to take next like how I used to do. But now, I am in the middle of nowhere. Not knowing what to do next or where to go or even what do I want in life. Ultimately, everyone just want to be happy, but as of now, I am really unsure of what defines happiness. To me happiness now is to avoid my work as much as I can even for just one minute more. Crazy, I know. But that’s how desperate I am now.

Let me just spend my precious few hours till reality hits me hard again. Till then, wish that you are happy and that you are on your way to your great happiness.

See what the GEK1520 Understanding the Universe is doing to us?

p/s ignore Susan Leong’s status… Nothing to do with what I’m saying here…

Time flies… It’s almost the end of Week 2 and I got sick. Having a bad cold that started off with sore throat. Thought I would get better but after the fogging around PGPR, it got worse when the fog irritates my nose. Now I have running nose, sore throat, pain in sinus area, dry cough at times and soon my nose will crack inside.

Yet to be productive though trying my best to be productive. Tutorials are starting and a lot of ongoing activities within the residence as well. School of Computing got relocated, so basically now I am spending most of my time in areas like arts and business. Seems like people in SOC are dressing better nowadays, perhaps because we are now situated in the heart of the arts and biz. But again, maybe I am wrong.

Been playing with my Rubik’s Cube very frequently. Want to get better with it and try speed cubing. I don’t know why I am interested in it, but I am just interested in it. I can solve 2 layers easily. Need to learn how to solve all 3 layers. If possible I want to train myself to solve a cube in less than 5 mins, then 3 mins and so on.

Shot loads of pix lately… Sony Alpha is really a good camera. Canon 40D are being announced. Wish to get it but at times wish just don’t come true. I really like photography. Initially I thought I don’t like to shoot human, but I find that human itself is a very interesting subject especially if you are able to capture their emotions. Probably I will go further into portrait next time. Food photography is one of my favourite now.

Lectures have been fine so far. Not much going on yet, but foresee that the waves of work is going to come soon. Yet to find any project mates for my CS3235 project. Begged one to be my CS3266 project. Hopefully I am in the same group with those I met for my CS3265 project. Am being assigned randomly for my TR2202 project. Wondering how will it be for my GEK1520 project, to shoot the stars or the moon or to write a critical review on other’s published journal. Wow, just realized all my modules come with projects. I think the taxing one will be the CS3266 project as it is a e commerce store front developmental project. 5 MC worth. 50% of project work and 50% of Finals. This is tough and I am still contemplating whether should I get a laptop now or later. Next up will be the CS3235 project. I don’t even understand my first chapter. It’s all about security and encryption. Very very math based. I am screwed…

Happy Birthday Soong!!!
Though you might not read this but may all your wish come true and have a great year ahead.

Gotta stay strong, stay motivated and be productive… Shall not procrastinate anymore… Gotta get keep a clear head… This is just a very random post with random thoughts but that sums up my Week 1 and Week 2 for this semester…

This used to be my signature for email… meaningful and deep… yet beautiful in its own way…

I take comfort in silence found in between words…
When our love is defined in not what we say…
but instead…
in what we need not say…

Hotmail is showing me old emails that I thought it’s gone like when I didn’t access my mailbox for more than 30 days… weird…
Overall, my first day went well and I am getting more and more vain as days go by… Will keep posting…

It has been a while since I last blogged. Am on a 3 months long holiday and I am back at home for a week long vacation. Stuck in Singapore most of the time cause of the low paying job as a Resident Assistant. It has been 4 days since I reached Malaysia. As my family shifted to KL, I am now in Subang Jaya. New place, new environment. No internet, but Starbucks is just walkin distance away. Perhaps it’s good to be here. New house is small and compact. But good enough for a family of 3, afterall me and my elder bro isn’t around.

Im in Starbucks now sipping my hot chocolate and surfing using the crappy WiFi. It’s awfully slow. I can’t load youtube nor download anything to spend time. The heat of my good old powerbook is keeping me warm while I am sneezing non stop thanks to I dont know what. 10 bucks for 4 hours of online session is not too bad. Afterall you get a cup of hot chooclate to go along with your surfing. But the connection is really crappy. There is actually people using floppy disk instead of thumbdrive. Wow, that’s old school. The person is looking around for laptop with floppy. I am still glad that I am home. I think I wont be happy to leave on Saturday. I really like being home. Singapore is really way too stressful and home is as peaceful as always.

Goin back to singapore will also mean the starting of my 3rd year first semester. I hope things will get way better from now onwards. I have had a very torturous experience for the past 2 years. My parents keep asking me why didn’t I want to come to KL Sunway during my time back in 4 years. Well, as I am the eldest of the family, whatever I do will greatly influence both of my brother. Then, my parents was pretty against me going to private colleges and etc. I am only stuck with the public school. Went to F6 and got my way to NUS. Thought it would be good for me, but now come to think about my future. All I see is vague and lost. Everytime people ask me, what will I be next time, “I dont know” is all I could answer. Although my results increased but it’s still far from the minimum I need to reach.

I just wanna hide at home and do nothing. I am such a slacker….

It has been quite a while since school ended and gave me a 3 months break.
Was supposed to make full use of it and not make a fool of myself again at the end of the holiday.
13 days went away and I did nothing productive just yet.
Wonder when will I wake up and realize that I am wasting my life.
I’m still alive just in case any of you is wondering.
I’m on twitter so go catch me there…
http://www.twitter.com/blacklighter
Add me if you are there as well…
I doubt much people is reading this…
I’m talking to myself…

明日歌

明日复明日
明日何其多
我身待明日
万事成蹉跎
人生若被明日累
春去秋来老将至
朝看东流水
暮看西日坠
百年明日有几何
请君听我明日歌

My first ever silent short just like the Charlie Chaplin style silent movie. This is done for one of my school project New Product Development to illusrate the problem that got us starting in coming up with our product. Do check out the video and gimme some comment.

This guy on youtube is hillarious. kevjumba.