A day that only come once in every 4 years…
A year that have one extra day to call it a year…
If it’s not a leap year, I only need to be sad for 365 days…
For it is a leap year, there are 24 hours more to be filled with sadness…
A year that makes me love and hate so much…
A year I promised myself that will be different from the rest…
A year that has so much uncertainties and sorrows…
A year that has so much hope and disappointment…
A year that is all about decisions and matter of choices in life…
60 days went by…
and I still have 306 days to go…

29th February 2008 0412

School’s restarting tomorrow…
Last semester result was the best of all…
So it means I gotta work harder for my modules…
Need to push my CAP even higher….
Taking 5 modules as usual…
There are alot of stuff on my plate now…
Hope that things will go well…
I do not want to be the failure I used to be anymore…
Just want to reach out more and achieve more in life…
Just the thought of me turning 23 is enough to scare the shit out of me….
23 and yet no single accomplishments…
While some are worth $700millions at the age of 23
some are even planning to retire at 21 when they have yet to even start working…
I really need to accomplish something and not feel the fear of me worth nothing at all
Guess I’m having some serious quarter life crisis that I need to deal with
Where do I stand in such a world?
Basically middle of nowhere….
I just wish that I could have a clearer mind to see further away and wider
Wish me the best of luck…

A chapter of my life is ending tonight…
Tomorrow,
a brand new blank page will be there for me to start over.
Looking back, it has been a bumpy ride for me this year
All the ups and downs have changed me into someone better in one way or another…
Just before I end this,
Happy new year and looking forward to a better year in 2008.

她，离开了
没有任何的再见
我，傻眼了
没有任何的泪水
也许知道有一天会得到如此的通知
也许我还没有真正的接受她的离开
也许不知道我应该有什么样的情绪
遗憾，歉疚，堆满了我的心，
今年的圣诞节变得不一样了…
是否已经永远的失去她这一个朋友？
而她声音却仍清晰的萦绕在我耳旁
苦苦祈求着我这个朋友回去见见她…
迟了，一切都太迟了…
她已经离开了…
带走了她的一切悲伤
却留给了我更沉重的包袱
再也不存在于这世上
没有任何的哀伤
更没有任何的眼泪
只希望她得到她需要的解脱
我苦笑着

最终她还是选择离开了
这么多年，始终她还是摆脱不了那轻生的念头
她应该可说是让我离死亡最接近的人
此时此刻，我也说不上我现在的情绪
我是否做的不够好？
我不停的问我自己
是否应该给予她更多心灵上的安慰
我不懂。。。
现在要说些什么，做些什么，也太迟了。。。
安息吧，我的朋友。。。
愿永离诸苦，早生西方。。。

I’m a lost child searching for the route to nowhere,
just for the sake of being able to move on into the next stage of life,
the mess in my head is getting worse as i struggle,
perhaps there might be a saviour out there that could save me…
from drifting apart from the way i should be.

blacklighter @ 3.44am Jan 11,2005

written in 2005, 2 years later it still applies…
perhaps there might be a saviour out there that could save me…
from drifting apart from the way i should be.

灰暗 沉重
脆弱得一片秋叶就得以把我给打碎

需要一道出路 有谁能带我走出?
想逃 离开这一切烦恼
想飞翔 却忘了没有翅膀

任由着脑勺后的支枪戳弄挟持
胁迫着我走着
即使已没有前进的路

希望自己下一秒就可以瓦解
消失在这个时空

我…
跪地求饶

Finally managed to take a picture that I have always wanted to take. Completed one of the things I want to do in life. Feel accomplished. Aint the moon breathtaking?

周旋于清醒与不清醒之间
任性 放纵 妄想 贪婪
逐渐吞噬了我的心
自私的 放肆的
不顾一切约束
惶恐失去
愚昧的追求着那不可能
失去方向感
陷入了那无底洞
那予取予求的现实
掌醒了我沉溺的遐想
蓦然回首
挣扎一幕一幕
我自导自演的悲剧即将上映

原来那一份遗憾，她从来都不曾离开过我…

之前不曾，现在没有，以后也不会…