Life is sucky and suckier… It hasn’t been a pleasant holiday… mad rush, breakdown, fatigue, solitude, fucked up mood and etc etc…

School gona start soon. I’m afraid and fear is conquering me as days go by… Nobody can understand what’s happening and nobody ever will… All i could see is a faint image of disappointment and lost, depression and fear all adds up to it… Alot of stuff had happened indeed. You will grow up even more seeing the ugly side of human… People giving promises that they cannot deliver just to lure you into their trap… once you are in and you will never be out of here… Vicious cycle they call it… Although I know this is the true side of human being but somehow, I the weaklings can’t help being naive to believe in lies and endless lies… Egocentric and invulnerable… Fakers running here and there self claiming that they are what they claimed to be… Things have indeed changed and I foresee disaster arriving soon and days will become loom and dark… This few weeks has been the darkest period of my life… I hate everything I see… The UGLY side… At times I just wish I have the world to myself. I made alot of mistakes… I’m back to the hate life stage again… Thought I’m out of it but sadly… I’m back in it again… Seeing the behaviour of the ugly human make me feel sick to my stomach and what make it worse is I’m one of the ugly ones… Sad but true…

Dark is all I see… Nothing can be done now… Being upset doesn’t help… Just pray hard that time will past and I will be back in my own world again… I need a retreat… I need to cleanse my soul and save myself from being sunken into the deep dark hole… I’m losing myself… I need home…

Else…
soon… I will be gone…